Souls

Hi and welcome to my blog.
Today has been an weird but strangely enjoying day even though nothing actually really happend.

Yesterday, I have started to watch an new serie called Switched at birth. It's about two families who's daughters got switched at birth and they just lived with them till one girl found out that her blood group is different then those of her parents. They get in contact with their real family and find out that the other girl is deaf. So I have almost all of season 1 and thought about it really hard and then decided that I want to learn sign language. I know it sound crazy for someone who has never, ever been in contact with someone who is deaf but I think I just really want to learn this.

So I searched around and I am going to buy some books about it. I told my parents and luckily they already have had tese moments of mine more in their lives. They said fine.
I think in my future it will come in handy and this way I can learn something most teenagers are not even bothered to learn about. Awesome right?

I said today is an weird day and that is because the hours just pass me by without me doing anything at all. It still feels like morning. and it has been slightly enjoying because I found something I like to do. To learn about.

I want to talk about souls. When I was four, I saw this film called 'Pocahontas'. I am sure you all know about it because we all just loooooove Disney. Anyway, Pocahontas is an spiritual, deep thinking, wise, full of soul and forgetting not mention beautiful girl. She is the princess of her tribe and she has an fiancee and everything is just fixed up all the way. All she needs to do is marry this native american man and everything will be happily ever after. Then suddenly an stranger shows up and they fall in love even tho their difference in culture.

I was a little girl who always felt different from the girls around her and my sister so when I saw that film I was feeling just.... connected to her somehow. She was the person who I wanted to be as an grown up. As an teenager. Someone who saw the good in evil and saw the world as something we have to care and live with not against. I wanted to be that spiritual girl who felt the wind, the breath of nature and the souls of all the things around me.

I am different. I have always been. I can hear voices in my head from animals around me. I can see things with my eyes most people cannot or wil not see. I can feel things others can not feel. How I know this? Because I just have been living with these thought my whole life. Why can I make friends so easily? Because I see what they like, want they don't like, why they are sad or happy. Everyone, everything is like an book for me that I just open and read.

You probably think I am weird because, well I am. But my whole life I have been trying to fit in, trying to make friends, trying to be someone I am not. I believe in things most people never heard of. I like things some people never even touched. I know things some people didn't know exist.
Today, I was touching, cuddling my dog. As I told in my last post, she isn't going to be around long anymore. To get is straight, I can not read the mind of anyone. Just by seeing behavior I notice things and come to know something about anything. She was... It was almost as if she was asking me if something was wrong.

I said,' Let's go outside.' She stood up and walked to the door. Then she laid on the grass and watched me as I put up an chair. I was looking at her. And then I realized that, of course, She also has an soul. An beautiful soul. The most purest, gentle soul of all. I walked towards her. We have two ways of cuddling, one that I lay down beside her and pet her and the other that I lay down behind her and she gets pet on her stomach. She just knew exact what I was going to do. I layed behind her and she was just totally silent. She just waited for me to cuddle up to her.

She is an hero to me. She is.... my best friend ever. And I am going to lose her. Sometime soon. As I told before, I put an picture of her in an frame and hanged it on my wall. It was one of the first pictures I took with (then) my new camera. She looks at the camera and she is just adorale. When I showed to my teacher last year she said it looked like she was crying but as I look upon  it now, I looks like she is trying to tell me something. I hope that would be something like: 'I love you' or 'I care for you'.

Some people might think I am crazy for being so hung up for my dog. 'I mean, it's an dog right?' is what they would probably say.  I believe that all things in life has an soul and has an meaning and is different all in their own way. Shit that sounded deep! :D When I see the pictures in my room I think of why I liked photography so much anyway. That is because every photo can have an meaning to it and I can finally put my soul into something. My soul and that of the one thing I take an picture of.

Well that is it going to be for today. Long enough don't you think?
I wished someone would actually read this. That would be so cool.
Great evening! Greetz! Anouk